So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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