i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
