If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
