yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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