you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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