I accidentally burped into my bong.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
