He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
