I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I met the friendliest cop last night
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
