she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Dicks are not precious.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
