Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My penis needs a shock collar
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
