Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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