Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize