Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
