How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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