areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
