Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
