I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
