I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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