I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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