Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
