Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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