I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
