The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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