Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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