so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
