just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
