I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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