Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
