Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
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