my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
40s are totally the cure
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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