Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
