Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
