I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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