Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
