i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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