How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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