Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
