Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
