remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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