I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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