i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
