Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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