I wish I could teleport
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
