it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
drinking out of a sandbucket again
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
