I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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