another moral hangover. fuck.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
