Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
