I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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