i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
