I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
