sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
