the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
