I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
