Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
