I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Hippo gnu deer
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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