he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize