She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
