woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
