it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize