this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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