yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
